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grief

Bittersweet — from Coffee+Crumbs

May 12, 2017Sonya Spillmann Leave a Comment

I lift the bags of groceries into the trunk of the van while my son plays in the back seat. He turns to me and flops his toothpick arms over the last row. He looks at me with eyelashes implausibly… Continue Reading →

Uncategorized Coffee+Crumbs, grief, motherloss, Mothers Day

How We Are

October 20, 2016Sonya Spillmann 8 Comments

After our reception, Chris and I ran out of the church, he in his tux and I in a short red dress with red heels, through an archway of flying birdseed, into my dad’s car. My brother drove us away… Continue Reading →

Adoption adoption, China, grief, hard stuff

Three or Under

May 27, 2016Sonya Spillmann 3 Comments

As a nurse, assessing for pain is part of the job. Falling behind temperature, heart rate, respiratory rate, and blood pressure, pain is “The Fifth Vital Sign.” It seems simple, but learning to assess pain is the first step in… Continue Reading →

Uncategorized grief, mom, pain, twenty years

When Mother’s Day is Hard

April 22, 2016Sonya Spillmann 5 Comments

  School supplies show up in July. Halloween arrives the second after school starts. Thanksgiving gets ten feet of shelf space and watches Christmas march in on November 1. Red hearts on New Year’s. Shamrocks on February 15th.   Mother’s… Continue Reading →

Uncategorized bittersweet, grief, motherhood, Mothers Day, tears

When Cookies Become Connections

December 10, 2015Sonya Spillmann 1 Comment

Butter. Flour. Cream. These three ingredients make up the dough of my favorite holiday cookies. We call them Kifle (a filled crescent cookie from eastern Europe) and I can eat 400 at one sitting. (I’ve never actually counted, but that’s… Continue Reading →

Uncategorized baking, children, Christmas, cookies, cooking, grief, Holiday, kifle, mom

Missing Mom: The Day She Died

May 28, 2015Sonya Spillmann 8 Comments

My son flops both his arms over the last seat, watching me load up the groceries into the trunk of our minivan. He is a busy child. He can be tough and stubborn with an alarming ability to use his… Continue Reading →

Uncategorized advice, death, grief, mom

Half and Half

March 2, 2015Sonya Spillmann Leave a Comment

I fall into bed, exhausted. What’s the date tomorrow?   The 30th.   I sigh. I knew it was coming up.   He asks, “Is tomorrow the day? How many years has it been?”   It takes me a bit—Oh God.… Continue Reading →

Uncategorized grief, half and half, life decisions

About Me

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I'm a wife, mother of four, acute care nurse by training and writer at heart. I am a lover of laughter, red lipstick, and Jesus. Honesty, big earrings, and food are my love languages.

I'm a motherless mother who writes to share my story of grief and grace.

I'm an adoptive mother with a passion for encouraging women to step up and live into their passions. I'm on the Coffee+Crumbs writing team, and am available for writing or speaking.

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