Moments after my water broke, I sat on the toilet and burst into tears.
What have we done? Will she ever forgive us? How will I love this child as much as I love her?
My husband returned from his call (mobilizing our Code Baby friends) to find me bawling. “It’ll be okay,” he whispered. “You know it will.”
I didn’t. I really didn’t know if I could share my heart with another baby.
~ ~ ~
I was pregnant with my first when a physician I worked with returned from paternity leave. Pleasantries out of the way, I questioned, “Honestly, how is it with two?”
A mess. Chaotic. Wonderful.
“But how does it work? How do you love this one like your first?”
Given to metaphors, he said your heart is a love amplifier. There’s no finite amount of love to share. Miraculously, your ability to love increases.
~ ~ ~
As I sobbed on my toilet, I remembered his words and prayed it would be true for us. Could I love the baby inside me as much as I already loved his sister?
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